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Task 2 · Two-part question · Education

Why fewer school leavers study science and maths

A causes-and-solutions essay where the band 9 answer refuses the usual remedies because its diagnosis rules them out.

The question

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In many countries, fewer school leavers are choosing to study science and mathematics at a higher level. Why is this happening? What could be done to encourage more young people into these subjects?

A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.

What separates the three answers

The 6.5 gives the causes a hundred and fifty words and the cure twenty-four; the 7.5 balances them; the 9 derives the cure from the diagnosis and discards the popular remedies because the diagnosis excludes them.

The three answers

Band 6.5

258 words (the task asks for at least 250)

The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.

The answer

Nowadays, in a lot of countries the number of the students who choose science and mathematics in higher level is going down. In this essay I will discuss the reasons of this problem and also suggest some solutions.

Firstly, the main reason is that these subjects are very difficult. Mathematics and physics need a lot of practice and many students think they can not get good marks in them. If a student choose a difficult subject and fail the exam4, his average will be low and he can not enter to a good university. In my country, for example, many of my friends changed from physics to economics because of this. So many students prefer easier subjects like business or media, which are not so difficult.

Secondly, another reason is the way of teaching.3 In many schools the teacher only explain the theory from the book and give a lot of homework5, so the students become bored. They do not see how science is connected with real life. Moreover, some students think that science jobs are not paid well comparing with business jobs, so they do not want to spend many years for studying such a difficult subject2.

To solve this problem, the governments should give scholarships for the science students.1 Also the schools should make the lessons more interesting with experiments.

In conclusion, students avoid science and mathematics because these subjects are difficult and the teaching is boring, and I think the government and the schools should take some action about this problem as soon as possible.

What an examiner notices

  1. 1. Task response

    “To solve this problem, the governments should give scholarships for the science students.”

    The whole of the second question, answered in one sentence. On a two-part prompt the two halves need comparable weight, and here the causes get roughly six times as much space.

  2. 2. Lexical resource

    “they do not want to spend many years for studying such a difficult subject”

    'Difficult' is on its fourth outing, and 'spend years for studying' takes the wrong preposition. Both are typical of a writer who has enough vocabulary to be clear but not enough to choose.

  3. 3. Coherence and cohesion

    “Secondly, another reason is the way of teaching.”

    'Secondly' and 'another reason' say the same thing twice. The linker is filling a slot rather than showing how this idea relates to the last one.

  4. 4. Grammatical range and accuracy

    “If a student choose a difficult subject and fail the exam”

    Singular subject with two uninflected verbs. The conditional itself is correctly formed, which is why the error costs a band rather than several.

  5. 5. Grammatical range and accuracy

    “the teacher only explain the theory from the book and give a lot of homework”

    The same agreement slip recurring three paragraphs later. Repetition of an error pattern is what separates 6.5 from 7.

One honest caveat

Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.

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