Task 2 · Discussion (both views) · Media
Reporting on the private lives of the famous
A discussion essay on press intrusion, where the band 9 answer replaces fame with a better test: does the private fact bear on a public role?
The question
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Some people believe that newspapers and websites should be free to publish stories about the private lives of famous people. Others think that famous people have the same right to privacy as anyone else. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.
What separates the three answers
The 6.5 decides that intrusion is the price of fame and adds some unexplained rules; the 7.5 separates politicians from entertainers but leaves the self-publicising celebrity unanswered; the 9 drops fame as the test and asks whether a private fact bears on a public role, which settles the cases the other two leave open.
The three answers
Band 6.5
288 words (the task asks for at least 250)The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.
The answer
Nowadays, newspapers and websites often publish stories about private life of famous people, such as actors, singers and politicians. Some people think this is acceptable, while other people think that famous people also need privacy. This essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion.3
On the one hand, some people believe that famous people have no right to complain about the media. They became famous by their own choice and they earn a lot of money because of the public attention. For example, many celebrities use social media to show their life to the fans, so it is not fair if they want the attention only when it is good for them. Also, the people want to know about their favourite stars, and these stories help the newspapers to sell more copies.1
On the other hand, other people argue that famous people are also human and they deserve privacy like everyone else. When the journalists follow them everywhere and take photos of their children, it causes a lot of stress for them and their family. In some cases, the famous people even got depression because of the pressure from media.4 Some photographers also chase them in cars, which is very dangerous. Furthermore, the children of celebrities did not choose to be famous, so their privacy must be protected.
In my opinion, famous people should accept that the media will report about their life, because this is the price of the fame and they get many benefits from it. However, the newspapers should not publish the stories which are completely false or which harm the children. Therefore, there should be some rules to control the media, so that both the famous people and the public are satisfied.2
What an examiner notices
1. Task response
“Also, the people want to know about their favourite stars, and these stories help the newspapers to sell more copies.”
This explains why the stories are published, not why publishing them is justified. A commercial motive is not an argument for a right.
2. Task response
“Therefore, there should be some rules to control the media, so that both the famous people and the public are satisfied.”
The opinion ends by calling for rules without saying what they would allow or forbid, which is the one thing the question needed answered.
3. Coherence and cohesion
“This essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion.”
The impersonal 'This essay' does not fit with 'my own opinion'. A memorised formula has been attached to the wrong subject.
4. Grammatical range and accuracy
“In some cases, the famous people even got depression because of the pressure from media.”
A past simple where a present perfect is needed, 'got depression' where 'developed depression' is the natural collocation, and articles misplaced on either side. A typical cluster for this band that never blocks the meaning.
One honest caveat
Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.
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