CD IELTS Prep
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Task 2 · Opinion (agree or disagree) · Technology

Smartphones before secondary school

An agree-or-disagree essay on delaying smartphone ownership, where the band 9 answer questions the age threshold the prompt takes for granted.

The question

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that children should not be allowed to own a smartphone until they start secondary school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.

What separates the three answers

The 6.5 and 7.5 both agree because young children cannot cope; the 9 argues that nobody copes, which changes what should happen at eleven.

The three answers

Band 6.5

250 words (the task asks for at least 250)

The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.

The answer

In these days, the smartphones are everywhere and even the small children are using them. Some people believe that a child should not have own smartphone before he goes to the secondary school. I am agree with this opinion3, because young children are not mature enough, although there are some benefits also.

Firstly, the children who use the phone too much can have many problems. They spend many hours for watching videos and playing games, so they do not do enough exercise and they do not sleep well. Moreover, they can see the bad content on the internet2 which is not suitable for their age. Their parents can not control everything, because the children always find the way. Also, some children become addicted and they get angry when the parents take the phone from them.1

Secondly, some people say that the phone is useful for the safety, because the parents can call their child anytime. This is a good point. But in my opinion, a simple phone without the internet is enough for this, so the child do not need the smartphone4. In addition, some children need the phone for the school work, for example for searching the information for their homework, but they can use the computer at home for this.

In conclusion, I think the children should wait until the secondary school for having their own smartphone, because before this age the phone gives more problems than benefits, and the parents should decide this thing, not the children.

What an examiner notices

  1. 1. Task response

    Also, some children become addicted and they get angry when the parents take the phone from them.

    The strongest point in the essay, introduced last and left after one sentence. Depth on two ideas beats coverage of four.

  2. 2. Coherence and cohesion

    Moreover, they can see the bad content on the internet

    Moreover, Also and In addition all appear within one paragraph, each doing the same job. Additive linkers stacked like this signal a list rather than an argument.

  3. 3. Grammatical range and accuracy

    I am agree with this opinion

    Agree is a verb, so the auxiliary is wrong. A fossilised error of exactly this kind — frequent, stable, never confusing — is characteristic of the band.

  4. 4. Grammatical range and accuracy

    a simple phone without the internet is enough for this, so the child do not need the smartphone

    Two slips in one sentence: an unnecessary article before internet and a plural verb after a singular subject.

One honest caveat

Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.